I could not be a prouder Mom. Today is your birthday and I am so proud of the person you are becoming. I prayed everyday while you were in the hospital that you would be a happy little boy and that is exactly what you are today. In just five years, your experiences in life has surprassed many. You seem wiser than your age, like an old soul. Some people in life are not lucky enough to have a strong sense of empathy, but you do as a five year old. When you interact with people, you quickly read them and their mood and you react accordingly. You are sad when others are sad, you are happy when others are happy. You are funny when others are funny. You carry conversations that are simply amazing. You are a funny boy! Today, my smile is from ear to ear filled with happiness. Something great has happened in my life and that is you!! We celebrate you today.
I remember sitting in the hospital thinking that I can not wait until you are five years old, thinking all of this will be behind us and I will never have to think of CDH again. That is not the case, we live with CDH every single day. Here I am sitting down at my computer at night while the house is sleeping just as I did every night when you were in the hospital, pouring my unedited thoughts. I think this blog has become my therapy more than anything else. It has connected me to people around the world with children and families going through the same experiences. Today I update more on facebook, and those people around the world, that I have never met in person are now my facebook friends and we seem to know each other like we have always known each other.
We have a new normal and I honestly don't know if we will ever have that picture in my head that I thought we would have, but that is ok because our highs and lows that we experienced in the past and will continue to experience has shaped our family and has molded you into the person you are today. You are amazing!
You are in pre-k, three full days. You bring a lunch with you and you walk through those school doors so confidently and independantly. When you started at preschool three years ago, you had to be carried in, you couldn't walk. We had to carry an oxygen canister with us. Not anymore, you are independant. You also started to play sports. Your favorite: t-ball and now you are playing soccer. At home you play anything that involves a ball. You are superactive and eventhough you may run a little slower and slightly differently, you run with all the passion that a five year old can have. You also are in a music class and gymnastics and want to play sword fighting, pretend your superheroes and all the stuff a little boy wants to do.
We still go to PT, OT, feeding therapy. You are still on oxygen while sleeping, the food pump and pulse ox machine. Our dining room still resembles a hospital room. We still have a night nurse and day nurse. We look beyond that, it is all invisible to us now and one day will all go away, but we are no longer on any timeline. Whatever is best for you. We still move on with normal five year old stuff.
Happy Birthday my son. I love you more than anything and so proud of the person you are becoming.
Love,
Your Mom
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