Hot Topic Tuesdays: Are Mothers Doctors Too?

Danielle's perspective:

Ok, all you non-moms out there -- which besides me include none of this blog's audience -- How nuts does it drive you when your mother thinks she knows every possible sickness under the stars?

Dr. Arlene (my mama) HAS to be one of the worst. Paraphrased, a tad exaggerated, but you'll get the idea:

"Grandma's throwing up? Well the doctors are wrong. It's not because of old age, she has gallbladder disease. Wyatt sounds stuffy? Tell the doctor to check the fluid around his lungs."

Zero out of two right on the above. I always tell her that she should have put her good skills to use and have become the real deal. She already diagnoses like an M.D. with a bad track record and in addition we could enjoy the financial comfort.

Though, it's not fair for Dr. A alone to be picked on for this. (Mom, please forgive me for the above outlash.) She is one of many. The question is, when does it begin? Does it start when you have your first baby? Or after you've been through many runny noses and achy bodies? Is this my fate as well? Is it every mother's?

Only you, mothers alone, can answer that. It seems though, in extreme circumstances, Dr. Mom is just as necessary as those who actually hold the license. Take Gina for example. When I was in the room with her and Wyatt she threw around lingo that I could have sworn she could have only learned in the med school she went to that I never knew about. One of Wyatt's whatchamacallits came undone. Alarms went off, machines started beeping, Danielle panicked and Gina calmly walked over, reset the machine, reinserted the tube, explained to me what it was in medical jibberish and gave a little nod to the nurse that everything was now A-Ok. You go Dr. G! No wonder you are so popular among the nurses, you give them a chance to get off their feet and rest a little. I once heard one nurse shout to a nurse in the other room,

"Oh, Gina's here. Break time!"

I realized how important it is for parents of CDH kids to maintain their vigilance. My mother, Gina and Benji do a good job of asking questions, inquiring about prescribed changes, and speaking their mind if they disagree. With all the nurse rotations, weekend on-call doctors, only you, their parents, best understand your child's routine.

Here's a list I came up with for parents of CDH kids.


1.Don't feel guilty if you bother your medical team with a concern about your child and it turns out to be wrong. You are not make-believing your concerns. You are going through this disease together with your child and along the way have become more knowledgeable because of it.

2. Represent your baby. You are your baby's best health care advocate. If you have concerns or doubts, voice them. No matter how silly they may seem.

3. Write down or keep a record of your concerns. If you are at your baby's bedside at 8 a.m., notice something, but the doctor doesn't free up until lunch, chances are that your sleep deprived brain won't be able to convey let alone remember all of your original worries. Plus, having a logged history will make it easier to notice repetitive symptoms.

4.Butter up the hospital's staff. You are going to be seeing a lot of each other. The closer you are the easier it will be to receive and give honest opinions.

5. Be fun and innovative when it comes to the crib. Your baby's in a hospital --which that simple fact completely sucks in itself -- and the only home he or she has known up until this point in their life is the tiny box in which they reside. So make it cozy and cycle toys in and out often. Even though your baby is bed-ridden his or her mind is still a little sponge.

6. Try to get a few things done for yourself.
You still have a life. And although just "you time" is out of the question, being productive on non-CDH related things still feels nice.

7. Look for extra help. People ask my sister, "Is there anything I can do?" Luckily, she learned early on to say yes. Visiting your child, taking care of your pets at home, going to the supermarket for you, cleaning your house. One thing I gather from every one of Gina's entries is that her support network continually takes action, and she is always grateful.

8. Stay healthy. Take care of your body, try to sleep well. Stay away from the hospital if you feel under the weather.

9. Give yourself a present once a week. Even if it's splurging on a Starbucks Venti Iced Caffe Americano w/ a shot of Caramel Syrup. Indulge yourself with a present at least once every two weeks.

10. Send flowers. This one is for all the husbands out there. You are going through the same thing that your wife is, and if you are anything like my sister and her husband, you are like passing ships on your way to and fro from the hospital. Have flowers waiting for your woman. Have bubble bath and candles (not yet lit) set up tub side. Ladies - leave your men love notes. Supporting each other will energize you for the 28 hours of duties you pack in a 24 hour day.